Lost and Found

So I was supposed to have enough time to do 3 drum lessons before I needed to get T.

But after having so many issues getting a hold of the twins’ parents and scheduling, I’ve done a grand total of one. Which I haven’t even been paid for (supposedly getting it tomorrow).

So I have not quite $35 to my name. To buy a vial of T for Tuesday that costs $80.

I have a coupon that’s supposed to discount it. It says up to 75% but I don’t know how much it’s actually going to take off. So it will possibly cost somewhere between $20-35 and then I can actually get it. Or it might cost $50 or something. I have no idea.

I figure I’ll go and give it a shot and if it fails, I’ll beg someone to borrow some money for a few weeks until I do another drum lesson.

fuckyeahftms:

Hey all! I need some advice. I’m going to college in the fall and I don’t know what to do about housing. What questions should I ask? Should I tell them I’m trans? I don’t even know where to begin.

Shoot me a message if you have any advice.

I,m Mason, btw. Hit me up. 

A lot of what you can do with housing will be based on what legal action you’ve taken so far regarding name change and gender change and how flexible your school is. 

I can tell you in my case, I spoke with housing and they told me that they couldn’t put me into a male dorm unless the college recognized me as male. The Registrar’s office said that to change my records I had to present some form of government ID proving I was male (license, passport, etc). Once I changed my name and gender on my license, I sent that information in to the Registrar’s office and they changed my records. Then I was able to make arrangements with the woman at housing to be placed into a male dorm. 

I remember hearing about another transguy who simply explained his situation after he was accepted and the Registrar changed his name and gender without any documentation and allowed him into male housing. 

Other schools have gender neutral housing and / or single rooms saved for transgender people. 

Assuming you haven’t changed your gender yet and therefore your college legally can’t put you into male housing, you could ask if there are single rooms available for someone in your situation and they may be able to help. (Keep in mind that some schools will allow a discounted rate if you prove that the room is medically necessary and some will make you pay the full rate.) 

Assuming that you can get yourself into a male dorm, there are some things you’ll want to consider: Where are you in your transition and thus how comfortable are you with actually living with a guy? How will you manage changing? Binding? Is there a private bathroom or is it a communal shower? How will you negotiate either? 

I pose these questions mostly because it is a big step and, in my opinion, depending on where you are in your transition / how comfortable you are with yourself will change how stressful living with a guy could be. 

In my person experience, my Junior year I was stealth in all of my classes. I had many new friends who knew me only as John. I was pre-T and pre-top surgery. I hadn’t even legally changed my name. My only available option was to live with a female roommate. To be honest, it wasn’t all that bad. I came out to her fairly early and she was very accepting of me. I told a few close friends so they could come over. It actually wasn’t that bad. In the end, it made my living arrangement less stressful so I could focus on building my confidence and beginning hormones. 

The following year, I was 5 months on T and legally had changed my name. I still had some concerns about living with a male, because I was still pre-op, but I figured I would be able to avoid it well enough. I picked a room with a private bathroom so I could change and shower in complete privacy. I used the times my roommate wasn’t around to not bind. It worked out well. I was concerned at first about it, but the situation worked out pretty well. 

I’ve also used communal male bathrooms. As long as there’s a way to change in private, they’re not too bad. It’s a bitch, but manageable. 

At the end of this long thing, my advice would be to call Housing. I’d tell them straight out that you’re transgender and speak to them about what your options are. Ask about whether single rooms are available for medical reasons at a lower rate. I’d also ask about their policy for placing a transguy into a male room. Get as much information as you can. 

You may also want to contact the Registrar’s office and ask what they can do for you regarding your name and gender on records. It’s possible that they could change it for you; they might ask for a therapist’s note; or they might want legal documentation. At the very least, they might be able to add a note so your Professor’s know that you’re trans and can address you appropriately.

To expound on my earlier post about insurance covering surgery-related emergencies, mine doesn’t. 

The likelihood of heading to the hospital seems quite remote, though possible, and if it does happen I’ll be shit out of luck. But I’ve never once heard of this happening, so I’m not too concerned. 

What seems most likely of everything that could happen is an infection. I didn’t have any trouble with getting pain meds through insurance, so I feel like antibiotics will go the same route. 

I know that I’ve heard of one guy losing a nipple due to surgery and his surgeon waived the cost of a correction. From my understanding, surgeons typically waive those fees, so hopefully that’s not a problem. 

My dad seems a little unsteady by this problem, but I said a lot about how rare it is and made it clear that I’m willing to take the risk, mostly because I feel safe with the surgeon I picked and because I’ve really never heard much in terms of complications. 

Also, the fun story to accompany this problem:

This morning I called the insurance company to get this info. First, their website sucks. I actually have Nova, which is under Independent Health. Well, go to Independent Health’s website, you can’t find shit about Nova. Go to Nova’s website (which is hard to find) and hit “contact us” and it takes you to Independent Health’s contact info. So I called them, made it through waiting and typing in bull shit and so forth, only to get a representative who curtly told me to contact Nova. (She at least game me a phone number.) Then I went through that whole process again. This woman was all like “yeah, you’re name isn’t under this plan…” Because of this, she couldn’t answer my question (which was a simple no…)

Apparently something got screwed up in the HR department at my dad’s work back in October when he sent in the paperwork because it never got processed. So I haven’t actually existed, as far as insurance cares, for months. 

My dad at least was able to make a phone call and find out what to do. We just had to go in and give them a copy of my name change order, which they’re faxing today I think to the insurance company. So that should get fixed soon. 

My dad also called the insurance for me to get an answer about coverage. So that was sorted. 

So, with less than a week until my surgery, my dad suddenly throws out the question of whether or not I checked to see if our insurance will cover the costs if something goes wrong with surgery. 1) I have no idea why he waited until now to voice this concern. 2) I realized that this is something I’ve NEVER heard anyone talk about. The only thing I’ve ever heard about is the very low risk of nipple death - and from the one guy I read about who had this happen to him, the costs of correcting this were covered by his surgeon. 

From what I’ve heard in the FTM community and the small amount of research I’ve done about risks with breast reduction, I feel like the likelihood of anything happening are quite slim. I wasn’t really worried about it at all until my dad mentioned it. I’m trying to keep relaxed about it now and this article helped. It’s what I just googled:

http://www.realself.com/question/pays-for-the-cost-emergency-room-after-surgery-happens

All these plastic surgeons say the risk of complications after this kind of surgery are very limited. Now, DI is a bit different, but it’s a similar level of surgery (breast reduction, out-patient kind of thing) and I feel like the risk of complications is truly quite small, as long as the surgeon is good. I’ve heard a lot of great things about the surgeon I’m going to and I feel very comfortable with him. 

I also feel like, if anything does go wrong, I would feel very comfortable going to him and having the problem taken care of quickly and probably without a fee. 

To be safe, as much as I hate calling and don’t want to, I will call our insurance tomorrow like my dad said to do to ask if they’d cover an ER visit or hospital bills at all for something like this. I feel like the answer will probably be no; but I’ll call to show that I tried and in case it’s yes so I can feel better. 

Registering for classes tomorrow. AH!! 

Nervous because I have a lot to fit into 2 semesters. Because of that, I really need to get into the classes I need to get into. Period. There’s a little lee-way here and there, but not much. 

My appointment to call my adviser is tomorrow at 10.30. She emailed me to say that I should write a list of what I want, and possible alternatives. I did exactly that. But I could also see what had opened seats. The history class I need has 2 or 3. One of the English classes I want has 3. The other English class has a bunch. One of the workshops I need to be in has 1 seat (which wasn’t there before and I’m nervous will disappear). The other workshop I need is closed. 

So, basically if any of these classes close, I just need to tell the adviser that I need to be in them anyway and to get me into them. It’s the workshops that are really important and since that’s my major, I should be able to make it happen. 

I guess there’s not really a lot to worry about. I’m about 95% certain I can easily get into 3 of the 5 classes tomorrow, at least, and the other 2 I know I can make happen. I’d just like this appointment to be over so I can just know what my schedule is and be secure and happy in the knowledge that I’m in my classes and life is good. 

Once I’ve got that situated, it’ll be time to start looking for a place to live.